


Over Coffee

by consultingstarkofmischief



Category: The Avengers (2012)
Genre: Emotional Baggage, FrostIron - Freeform, Loki Redemption, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-03-03
Updated: 2014-06-29
Packaged: 2017-12-04 03:35:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,097
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/706052
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/consultingstarkofmischief/pseuds/consultingstarkofmischief
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Once more, nightmares awaken Loki in the middle of the night. Unable to sleep, a cup of coffee seems best. It's even better to share a cup with some one. Some one who understands.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Contemplation

**Author's Note:**

> this originally started as a one-shot but grew. 
> 
> thanks to my little sister Esme for helping Beta my work, and for the prompt.

Falling. Into a dark abyss.

Torture. That which he could do nothing against.

Loki sat up gasping for air, his heart pounding underneath his black silk pajamas. The same nightmare always woke him up. This time at the early hour of 4:47. Sleep having had evaded him, Loki left his room, the one graciously given to him within Stark Tower.

Helping the Avengers during Thanos’ attack, giving the team the extra assistance needed for victory against the Titan had led Loki to gain some semblance of trust within the hero group. 

Thor, the great puppy, was ecstatic to have his brother back. And never to be admitted out loud to anyone, Loki was still wary of the presence of Dr. Banner...Bruce, as he was often reminded to call him, and his “Other Guy”. Faint whispers of the thrashing he received at the hands of the beast still plagued him with phantom pains. 

From the lone woman of the team, who had bested him, he had received cold indifference. From her partner on the other hand, he had been at the bad end of the archers bow, it having been used to hit him in the face, along with a threat of what would happen were he ever to put one toe out of line. The good captain, though still apprehensive gave him a second chance, but cautioned against another. 

And lastly Tony.

Tony was a surprise that was unforeseen. He had taken over the Midgardian’s tower and then threw him out of his own window. Yet other than his own brother, the closest resemblance to a true lord this realm had to offer, had showed him no malice and had simply welcomed him in. 

He had headed to the kitchen on that particular floor, which was Tony’s and his by extension. The hero had arranged for Loki to be roomed down the hall from his own room on his floor, and Loki was thankful for not having to reside with his brother. 

Anyways, a cup of coffee, a treat that had gained his fancy, is what he sought after. 

Now familiar with one of the many coffee machines the tower housed, Loki had set the machine to brew, and went to the watch the city that he had both tried to take over and had most recently protected. 

That very window he was looking out of, he noticed, was the one he had once thrown Tony out of in rage. The repairs had been seamless, as though nothing had ever happened there, granted the person who was paying for these repairs would ask for nothing less than perfection. 

He could admire that in the Midgardian... Tony. 

Genius, playboy, billionaire, philanthropist. That was how Tony described himself to others. But if Loki could, he would add perfectionist to that list of adjectives. It would perhaps seem arrogant to others, but Tony sought for the best in things in life, not accepting anything considered average. The man worked hard for what he wants and would make sure he received it. He lived a hedonistic life. It was admirable, in Loki’s perspective of course. The captain thought it was a bit eccentric or even arrogant in Tony’s part, but the god of mischief thought differently. 

More differently than anyone else.

When he was taken out of the Tesseract's control, his time awaiting the verdict that Odin Allfather would set, was spent on hours of deep reflection. From the information gathered from Barton, he learned much about the people who now called themselves The Avengers.

He learned of the captain who woke up after 70 years of being frozen. “The man out of time.” Quite literally. Just as out of place in this world as he or Thor. But out of all of them, the one he did truly learn more about was Natasha Romanoff, the Black Widow, former assassin, and now one of the top agents in S.H.I.E.L.D. What he found interesting was that she was constantly on Barton’s mind, even under the Tesseract’s control. On the doctor and his beast, he received the minimum of information. Seeing as Barton did not have knowledge beyond that the mild mannered doctor was a failed experiment that resulted in an enormous green creature when angered.

And then there was the Man of Iron.

There was a sympathy to be felt towards the mortal who once attempted to threaten him. This Tony Stark knew about years of suffering.

Loki himself always in the shadow of his golden brother, ridiculed for his use of sorcery. Always feeling out of place in his home. Never equal to those around him. Never down right disrespected though, no one would be so foolish to try, he was a prince of Asgard after all. Always placed in second place, never enough in Odin’s eyes. But still... life would have continued for the better if he had never followed Thor into Jotunheim, if that Jotun had never laid a hand on him. 

Constantly on the outskirts of his own people, and for some reason he still strived to be the best, to be admired.

But everyone admired the first born, the golden one, the true Odinson, the man he used to be able to call a true brother. 

With Tony, it was not much different. They both know what it was like to be overshadowed. He was in the shadow of his brilliant father. From a young age being held to such high expectations. Then a company thrust upon him, the inheritance of warfare. He grew to become known as the Merchant of Death. Later when he was held prisoner in Afghanistan and had his heart replaced with a car battery as constant reminder of what damage he could do, and of what he could be, he noticed it. It only took one of his own weapons to see. Death was his legacy, the fruit of his labors. That’s when Tony saw everything clearly. Everything around him, and inside him. He recognized his mistakes. His eyes were opened.

Much like himself.

He and Tony lived a similar life, only he didn’t have the support of friends like the Potts woman or the one called Rhodey. The closest thing to companionship Loki had ever experienced was at the company of the Warriors Three and the Lady Sif. And they only tolerated his presence, because of Thor. 

He with all of his power could cause much more destruction in a much shorter time, than it had taken Tony. After witnessing the absolute calamity he and the Chitauri had caused in New York, he felt it. The change. The mistakes he caused. The mistakes that caused hundreds of lives. And a plethora of damage. He had no other choice but to unleash the Chitauri, he was so tired and didn’t care what would happen. He knew that the agent he had brought down was right. He knew that Tony was right. There was no throne. There was no end where he, Loki, could rise victorious.

He was right when he said that the Tesseract touched everyone differently, only its touch controlled you. It changes you to its whim.

It went to the bottom of your mind and pulled out thoughts and memories and manipulated them. He had witnessed it with the archer’s mind. The thoughts and memories of Barton’s troubled past came afloat.

Memories of witnessing, and causing death, harming others. Being tortured, the fighting, the life of lies, the internal exhaustion and many sleepless nights. He witnessed the archer in his darkest of days. He saw the days of blood that was not his own, but of his target. The life of an assassin that left behind scars, scars that harmed his mind and body. And that was only before S.H.I.E.L.D. came in and recruited him. 

Loki saw everything. The Tesseract showed him everything. It showed him pure, undeniable truth.

When he said that it touched everyone differently; it did.

Including your memories, and your desires.

It played with them.

It played with you.

Just like a small little toy in the hands of a child.

He remained so lost in his thoughts, he didn't notice the footfalls announcing that he was no longer alone.


	2. That drink

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony finds his floormate in a familiar state of mind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> here it is finally, the next chapter!

Bare foot and hair dripping from the shower, Tony found his floormate looking pensively out of the window. He knew that look on the man’s face, it was one he has worn many times. It was one that held pain of the past that still haunts you in the present.

Jarvis had alerted him that the god had woken up from what seemed to be a nightmare. It wasn’t the first time it had happened he had noticed, it has been happening for a few weeks now.

But he never talked about it.

Tony knew what it was like to have nightmares. After Afghanistan. After almost dying. After falling out of space. They happened more than anything else when he slept. It’s one of the reasons why he doesn’t sleep much. Sleep was avoided until someone forced him to bed or he crashed after days in the lab.

“Hey Loki,” he greeted, pulling the Asgardian out of his thoughts.

Loki turned around and saw one of the very men he was thinking about. The one that intrigued him most.

“Tony,” he replied acknowledging the man.

“What brings you here at this hour?” Tony asked, even though he knew why.

Loki took one last look outside the window, at the New York skyline; the light of the city illuminating his pale skin, and then moved to sit on the sofa that was in the lounge, “I would believe that you already know the answer to your question.”

“Alright so maybe I do. I’m a genius. I know things.” Tony stated as he sat down facing Loki on the same section of sofa, placing his arm over the back. He took notice of the taller man’s appearance, Loki always looked so well put together, always with a regal stance to him. And now, he seemed off, his long raven hair mussed from sleep, and a slight look of terror still alive in his unnaturally emerald eyes. A man who still lived in terror.

“From what I have observed, that is truth.”

There was a silence between the two, it was both uncomfortable and yet warranted. It felt almost soothing to merely be in each others company. What broke the silence was the coffee machine alerting them that the brew was ready.

“I believe that it is my turn to offer you a drink.” Loki smirked at the remembrance of the first time that he had spoken to Stark one on one, when the other man was as he said ‘going to threaten him’.

“Glad you did eventually take me up on my offer,” Tony admitted as he remembered the night that he had found Loki in his tower.

 

___

_Tony had walked into the penthouse suite that was finally finished being repaired after the whole Loki and Hulk confrontation. Pepper had worked on the repair details mostly, while Tony was out helping put New York back together._

_He trusted Pepper with just about everything, even his mechanical heart. Although she returned that not long after the Battle of New York. She could handle everything, but the stress of worrying whether Tony was going to die or not every time that he deployed in the suit had become too much for her to bear. Luckily nothing much really had changed between the two, well other than the now lack of sex, but it was for the best... for Pepper._

_It was night time, late for other people, but Tony was just coming out of his lab. Bruce, who had been staying with him, having given him his own lab and floor since Tony drove straight to the tower instead of letting Bruce just disappear after seeing Loki and Thor off to Asgard, had long ago went to bed._

_Tony looked around, not really paying attention until something unexpectedly caught his eye._

_It was Loki._

_He was situated on the sofa, simply reading a novel. The strangest part of it all, was that he looked like he belonged there. He was out of his Asgardian dress and in a more casual version of what he wore at Stuttgart, a crisp white oxford, black slacks and dress shoes._

_Tony was confused to see the god. He turned back and forth from the hallway he came from and to where Loki sat. There was no news from Thor or S.H.I.E.L.D. or any one about Loki being back on Earth. Before Tony could act on any of the options quickly in his head the other man spoke first._

_“Do come join me, instead of standing there and attempting an excellent fish impression.”_

_Against what other people might call better judgement, the billionaire did join him. Then again when did Tony do anything that was reasonably sane?_

_“Did they run out of books wherever you came from? Cause I don’t remember becoming a library.”_

_“On parr with a new imminent threat to your planet that is not I, circumstances have found to have me released from confinement in Asgard. You’re welcome.” Loki said as he closed the book that he was previously engrossed in._

_“So what? You’re here to help us now?”_

_“More like a mutual benefit.” he told with a self satisfied smirk._

_“That I can live with for the moment.” Like Tony, he knew that Loki would be one to save his own skin if the situation came up. They were both thinkers and manipulators, always a step ahead of others. It just looks like Tony had to catch up in this round of the game. In this instance, this god of lies could be trusted to be telling the truth this time._

_“Well I believe I was owed a drink, Stark.”_

_“True. So what’s your poison?”_

_“What variety do you have?”_

_“Anything you want, sweetheart.” Tony smiled, playing with the god._

_“A nice brandy, if you please”_

_“You got it.”_

_Loki returned to his book as Tony went to get the drinks._

__

 

“Yep. Who knew we’d end up here.”

“Indeed. Would coffee suffice?”

“Yep. Drink of the gods.”

“Quite literally.” Loki smirked.


	3. Show you mine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “How about I show you mine, if you show me yours?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry this is so late, but the muse took a break and then there was the last months of my senior year that I had to go through.  
> It's something, although I'm sorry its a bit short.
> 
> Please enjoy.

As Loki arose to prepare the coffee, Tony couldn't help to notice how gracefully he walked. How did anyone ever really think that he and Thor were really related was beyond him. Tall, dark, pale and lithe, all while Thor was golden, broad, and well boisterous. As opposite as he has ever seen siblings, Tony had never seen their parents but he was sure that Loki probably didn't look like either one of them. He just might have to ask Thor about that later.

“How do you take your coffee?” Loki asked pulling Tony out of his thoughts.

“With a lot of caffeine.”

“Black it is.”

“Good man.”

“Not that good.” Loki teased.

“That just makes everything more fun.”

“That it does.”

“Didn't peg you as much of a coffee sort of guy.”

“Tea is my usual choice, but this sort of night warranted a stronger brew.”

“I understand that more than I’d like to admit.”

“I am in good company then” Loki said as he sat down next to Tony, and placed their coffees on the the table before them.

They sat for a moment sipping at their coffees, Loki looked up from his cup to glance at his companion. The bright blue light of the arc reactor caught his eye, with its triangular design with in the circle. The device was not unlike the colour of the tesseract or a Jotun’s skin, he realised.

“You know in all of the time that we have been in acquaintance, I have yet to learn of what that device in your chest is for.” the god pointed out.

“Oh, this little light?” Tony pointed to the reactor after setting his cup down.

“Yes.”

“Well this...” Tony paused, “This is my terrible privilege.”

“Terrible privilege... I could say I bear one as well, only mine is easier to hide and is not so much of a privilege.”

“How about I show you mine, if you show me yours?” Loki saw that Tony smirked at the phrase.

Loki looked at Tony for a moment, at his face and then to his chest and back up, pondering this request. He had decided that no one was to see this side of him, the... monster. And yet he thought, perhaps who else is better to show himself to?

“Well, who goes first?”

“Mine is right here, so I guess that’ll be me,” decided Tony as he then took off his black tank top off, “Have at it.”


	4. A little circle of light

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Loki’s hand rose up, despite himself not showing any signs of having heard the inventor. He began to trace the skin around the reactor itself, not touching the device yet slowly working up to it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guy's I am so sorry about the nearly a year wait for me to update. But here it is. It has followed me through my first year of college.
> 
> I hope everyone likes it, so please enjoy.

Loki’s eyes fell to the device embedded into Stark’s chest.

“As you wish, Stark.”

Loki moved closer to the inventor, now seeing many more triangles inside the design of the arc reactor. He had previously wondered about the ordeal that caused such a device to be inserted into the chest of this man and from it how he had risen from it rather than fall. Loki himself, when he fell from the Bifrost only to also land in the hands of captors that would use his skills for nefarious means after them asking using torture to gain the answer they sought. Perhaps the difference was that Tony had people to care for him, the Lieutenant Colonel and the Potts woman to his well meaning driver who attempted to threaten him should he hurt his boss. Loyal to Tony they certainly are.

Or perhaps Tony just had a reason to keep on fighting. 

He didn’t when he fell.

Tony could see in Loki’s eyes that he was not all the way here anymore. The conflict and anguish shown in the light of the reactor. While he let his chest be studied, he could study the man in front of him without distraction. 

Loki had nothing left to lose when he fell. He was a monster brought into a family, one who belonged nowhere, not to Asgard nor to Jotunheim. Friendless, the Warriors Three and Lady Sif, traitors in his brief rule for their impatience of being without their impulsive leader. To them it was as if he himself had banished Thor. He who loved him most, his only friend in the realm. To them it was as if he had stolen the throne. They would not listen to him, because he wasn’t Thor. In the end that was everything, he simply wasn’t Thor. And he could never be.

Yes, he would often play his tricks, a few pranks all for fun, but others perhaps taken too far. In their childhood, a blond fair haired Sif was a companion who fought her way into their group. Her skills formidable to stand in Thor’s company, but who would make little of his own capabilities. Loki was as skilled in warfare as his brother and other warriors, he could hold his own without the use of magic, although his ways more suited towards speed and trickery. That was something that Sif often would vocalize her displeasure on. Once she had gone too far, in his opinion she would too often forget that he was a crown prince. She had fought to stand with her male compatriots, then she would lose her long girlish tresses to blend in more. Loki was often the voice of reason within their group, but this time his reason left him. Her head was a bare as an egg the next day, she had attempted to hide her bare head, but a mysterious sudden gust of wind blew her cover off. Unfortunately he was too soon found to be at blame for the hair loss. It would have grew back in its own time, but he was made to give her her hair back. So he did, with a twist. Instead of her golden locks, he gave her hair as dark as night. Just like his, to remind her of what he can do and who he is. She would never look at him without contempt again. 

He found that he preferred that.

The group would still scoff at his magic, call it dishonorable in battle. Thankful they were if it could save their skins during one of their adventures, but they would pass it off during their storytelling while feasting. Their use of weaponry and brute force, cheered at by admirers. Too early in his life did Loki tire of these slights, and yet never could say no to Thor at his request to leave on another adventure.

Now, Mother... could have taken regent, but instead chose to give him Gungnir. It never occurred to him that he would wield it one day. Nonetheless, the line of succession did fall to him, he was the rightful king. Odin was in the Odinsleep and Thor banished, he was next in line. That was a chance he would never have seen, forever as the second prince. He never stole the throne and never truly wanted it. But would still take it, just to prove the naysayers wrong. 

The light shone bright from Stark’s chest. It was like a beacon in the dark room. Illuminating their faces and casting shadows.

“Don’t blind yourself with my brilliance,” Tony gave a cocky smile at his joke, while in his head working up the guts before he could chicken out to say, “You can... you can touch it, if you want.”

Since Obi, having someone else touch the reactor...it still wasn't an experience that he was at all comfortable with. He still sometimes instinctively covered his chest when someone's hand came too close. And not that Loki really had that great of a history regarding his life, their first face to face ended with him flying out of his own window. Then again telling a dick joke to a desperate man who had killed people and who was looking to win was not one of his best moves. Granted since then Loki has been racking up trust points. 

Besides a deal was a deal. 

Loki’s hand rose up, despite himself not showing any signs of having heard the inventor. He began to trace the skin around the reactor itself, not touching the device yet slowly working up to it. There was a mass of scars surrounding the device. A mixture of rough and smooth skin. His other hand rose, joining its pair encircling the reactor. He could lightly feel the hum of power that the device radiated. It rose slightly above the skin, indicating that it went deeper. Loki’s previous questions about the contraption returned to the forefront of his mind.

"How deep does this device go?" was his first question. 

Tony used his left hand to make a gesture roughly amounting to how deep into his chest the reactor sunk, "About this much."

Loki's eyes betrayed his surprise at the size, but quickly moved on. 

“You have yet to answer my previous quandary, the exact purpose of this device other than giving power to your suits,” the long haired man reminded, “I do know that it came as a consequence from captivity.”

“This keeps me alive, all while not killing me. My original reactor, palladium based, did both at the same time. I had the two for one special.”

“Keeps you alive how?” Loki’s eyes rose up to meet the brown eyes of his companion.

“My own bomb almost killed me. Left shrapnel in my chest, forever trying to dig their greedy way to my heart. This little circle, keeps that metal from moving. So pretty much that and coffee keep me going in life.”

Loki's eyes went back down to the reactor, both hands moving to cover the surface of the device. The light in the room lessened and his hand resting against the top could feel the strong whirl of power sitting in his companion's chest. He supposed the enormity of having to suffer this "terrible privilege" as he was told was greater than most would realize. To have such a contraption within your body cavity, constantly fighting to keep you alive, its power ongoing with no chance of going off for a reprieve, and its failure meaning death. 

Loki's hands fell from Stark's chest, light refilling the room. Tony knew that was the end of that and wordlessly put his shirt back on, letting the god collect his thoughts.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There is more to come.  
> And reviews make me feel happy and fluffy. So please do.


End file.
